Work. It's a work in process.

This spring it's 35 years since I graduated with an absolutely hard earned BA in Journalism. I absolutely worked my butt off to earn that honour I had been granted. - working 20 plus hours a week for a financial advisor in an office, living the roommate and Toronto life to its fullest, making lifelong friends - super gracious, motivated, full of such pride that I was making it through what was then a pretty hard-to-get-into program, at a very respected school. Loved it so much it wasn't like school at all. It was difficult, high energy, real life (sitting behind murderers at court - chasing politicians at 11 at night - and felt i found my place and my people. (Right Stef?)

Of course what you learn and how your career progoresses are two different things, with a dream of being a big city or big crisis reporter, but ultimately coming home to a real journalism job at the Grimsby Independent. Wiritng a good 15 to 3o stories and headlines a week, doing layout , my own photography (we even wound our own film), arguing with the editor on story placement, chasing fire trucks from scanner. What an absolute honor to hold that job and present the news to the people of Grimsby for 3-4 years. Putting the paper to bed alone in the office on Monday nights, filling the front page with the recently discussions at the Town Hall, - with just a brief edit by my editor in the actual pagination room the next morning . Rare changes, Good solid, journalistic writing.

Then moving on - to earn a better wage to get a car and maybe a place of my own - foraying into public realtions, fundrasing and sponsorships, event planning (not for profts) then into marketing, the introduction of digital, a little spokesperson and public speaking action - good days.

Got into larger corporations, more budget and more strategy, leading teams, mentoring.

All the while taking course and reading to stay on top of trends, technologu and bringing my best to the table. A could long terms in manufacturing that really srcratched my itch, and a few daring ventures into start-ups and family managed orgs - not my bestest choice but i sure did learn to be more patient (until I wasn't) Drop now into this iteration with contract jobs back to back and how different those can be when you are really asked to do better than the status flow, if possible, with the threat of your hard work tossed when things go back to the usual.

All this while aging as normal but with those graduating dates, past job stints and some learning courses (HTML anyone?) becoming a bit oblique.

You wake up everyday still working hard, trying to accomplish something good, something necessary, something that maybe changes the world (or some of the world) ,but there always seems to be something or even someone who doesn't wish you to have this, either because the want it themselves, they are not the right person with the right skills to guide you, they control all, or are just simply the stop sign on this road. With 35 years heavy, varied, at times gut-wrenching and at some times highly joyful, I'm still finding my way. Being questioned on my line spacing in a decently well-read and definitely wellwritten newsletter (that gets the news out that needs to go out) was something my work was questioned on and brought up in a meeting maybe in J school, maybe not. Especially when much larger issues are at hand. Sometimes you just gotta take a deep breath, remember who you are, where you have worked, the people you have met and how many of them value you and your work - let it out and keep chugging. Hard work, authenticity, and adaptability should take me far.

Thinking about things

mfhaurilak
Apr 26
2 min read

It's difficult to stay positive in these times. I'm sure that phrase has been written a thousand times. Right now in April 2026, we've got a world at war, people dying still in the Ukraine and Palestine, noticeable climate change, rising food and gas prices, people defaulting on mortgages...a moral sociopath leading the US, a tyrant leading Israel, - the list goes on and on.

How do we stay positive and focused, especially if we aren't necessarily religious as I have always explained myself as a "child of the universe" having seen the damage that religion can cause.

When you pile on world issues atop personal issues such as anxiety, a micromanaging boss, high expectations from those close to you, burn out, my horse going through losing an eye, my husband getting a difficult health diagnosis, and then a long long long cold winter turning into a craptastic spring, you can feel somedays like you are just keeping your head above water. Especially as a Gen X first daughter, who has been taught to manage ALL things, and be ALL things, that work will set me free, that showing weakness is weakness, that I am the glue.

I am moving in a better direction and I just need the sun to shine on me to set it into my bones.

My work is just a job and these colleagues are not my family, and in some cases they are not even my friends. When I move on, I may keep some as friends, but others, they can just fade away without a second thought.
It's okay for me to be sad or grumpy sometimes.
I can do what I can to save the world, but it's not completely up to me, all I can be is a good person in my local place and time.
I can trust that I am a person with skills, and these skills can carry me forward and I should never forget what my brain can do.

All I can do is move forward in this time and place knowing that I still do make an impact, that someone's harsh words and constant criticisms don't define me and they can honestly take a long walk off a short pier. They have to look themselves in the mirror at night and live with the shit they've said, while I sleep soundly knowing that I did my best today.

Stay frosty people.

Comments

If it smells like gaslighting, it likely is gaslighting.